Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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