oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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