I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
