Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
