whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize