We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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