i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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