My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
