Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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