I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I want to make a zoo with you.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
