This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
