Can Purell be used as lube?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
