ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
