On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
operation have a gay friend backfired
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
