I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
