sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
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