Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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