This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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