is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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