We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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