You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
