we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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