Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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