Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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