Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
