that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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