We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
why do cheetos always look like penises
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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