I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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