I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
