homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
being pregnant is like rehab
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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