You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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