Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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