I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
