just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize