Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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