Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
