my mouth tastes like poor choices
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
