half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
