Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
