Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
