It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
