I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
