I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
