I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
