I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
