i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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