I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
smell my finger.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
