Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
