Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
