Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
