Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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