The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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