Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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