He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
