I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
50% drunk capacity currently
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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