Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
