I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Randomize
