just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
