Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
