Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
