HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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