no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
